In the Kitchen...

When preparing a meal, be sure to establish a positive relationship with your ingredients.

Respect your bean shoots

Empathise with your aubergines

Enter into a dialogue with your marrow

Get feedback from your fennel

But dont take any crap from your artichokes.

LOVE

Love is not just a feeling, love is a powerful tool. Show your powerful tool to people and ask them to admire it. If they dont want to look at it, put it away again.

Spring Cleaning!

Spring clean your mind. Brush away the cobwebs of guilt.

Scrub out the stains of anxiety. Hoover up the dust of depression.

Take your brain to the dry cleaners (dont lose the ticket)

                                               Surfing

You could surf the net for a thousand years and still not find the web site that speaks to YOU. Surf your inner net every day for five minutes and you will always find a web site that will give you the attention that you deserve. It will probably be called  www.me.com 

Inner Child

Satisfy your inner child by eating ten tubes of Smarties.

Travels

During long plane journeys, endear yourself to the crew and passengers by introducing them to the ancient power of group chant.

                Computer Crash               

Your computer has crashed. Your hard disk may be suffering from a cosmic imbalance,or virus. Restore your computer to health by taking the following steps. 1. Place a healing crystal on top of your VDU 2. Clear your PC's negative aura by lighting a joss stick. 3.Reinvigorate your mouse by massaging it with essential oils. 4. Energise your CD Rom drive by intoning ancient Hindu mantras.5. Buy a new computer.